300. Have two sex changes
299. Switch to Vonage
298. Hot sauce saline solution
297. Creamate my goldfish
296. Open Francis Ford Coppola's freezer
295. Exhume all Popes
294. Balloon ride with Pete Rose and family
293. Wear skis for a decade
292. Go from an innie to an outie
291. Never clap again


290. Shoelace sandwich
289. Do four (4) items on Joey Buttafuoco's bucket list
288. Breathe next to a Bulgarian
287. Split a check with Larry David
286. Mumblecore marathon
285. Make fun of Ron Artest's hat
284. Learn to sing all of American Pie in Hebrew
283. Skywrite "I Hate You Mom"
282. Blend my iPhone and not videotape it
281. Do everything Fox News tells me to do for five days


280. Bunk beds with Mark Wahlberg
279. Become fluent in Mandarin Chinese and then never use it
278. Conduct a week-long Team Edward conference
277. Give Kathy Griffin a blow job
276. Eat a Styrofoam turkey
275. Start Gaza Sailing Tours Inc
274. Sushi at Six Flags
273. Teach my mom what a blumpkin is
272. Polish Jesse James' Nazi medal collection
271. Tea with Tyson